Top Five: Ideas running through your mind after you shoot down a former lover for Friday night sex.

1. Fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU.

2. I WAS NOT falling for you, I was just fucking mad about that job interview.

3. I really fucking hate it when you decide to try and be witty about your drunken jazz habit because, let’s face it Kemo Sabe, you are no fucking Satchmo.

4. Fuck you.

5. Fuck me, I’m fucking horny, fuck, fuck, fuck.