1. Raptured right in the middle of a good shit.

2. Mistaking Rapture for an earthquake; Jesus catches you cowering in a door frame

3. You and Phyllis wear the same novelty T-shirt to the Rapture. AWKWARD.

4. Only person un-Raptured in the Wal-Mart.

5. After watching 11 hours of Investigation Discovery programming in a row, you accidentally mace Jesus in the face. You are still Raptured, but Jesus doesn’t speak to you, for, like, ever.